Living Nightmares

 

Every night they appear in different forms… originating from what we fear most… fear is their source.

 

The only way to interact and remember the night-time is through sleep paralysis, a commonly known occurrence, but not commonly understood. All of humanity has been cursed with these nightly terrors since the very beginning of time. They are the sources of all our understanding of what a monster is, yet they do not exist within this reality. 

 

Between our world and theirs, there is only one method of forming a connection, a portal if you will. Yet we cannot control this access, as we are bound to it by our very nature. We form this bridge in the everyday natural process of sleep. 

 

I, however, am one of the unlucky ones. They call us the waking dreamers. The only ones who have become aware of their existence. The only ones who remember…

 

As most of them appear in the subconscious realm, humans are only ever able to remember them as fragmented memories also known as nightmares, though most of the time, we don’t remember them at all. Regardless, even if you, while awake, can’t remember, there is still a part of you that in the realm of the subconscious, remembers everything… It is in our nature to try and push that to the very deepest parts of our brain. Our instincts make us not just want to forget… but need to forget. 

 

Back when I was around five years old, I recall my first encounter, or rather, the first one that I can remember, with what we call ‘monsters’. At the time, my greatest fear was the water. During a day out at the beach with my parents, I was hit by a wave twice my height and was, for a moment, plunged into the jaws of the ocean, and if it wasn’t for my father grabbing me, I would’ve been swept out and devoured by the thrashing waves.

 

They knew this. 

 

They always know.

 

That same night, as I drifted off to sleep, I was awoken by the feeling of the air in my room turning slimy and thick with humidity, and as my eyes stirred awake, I felt the faint splash of water drizzle over my skin, followed by the sound of flesh moving around me. 

 

As I rose up, I saw it for the first time, the monster. The monster takes many forms, all dependent on what you fear most. It preys on what makes you, vulnerable… whatever you would hate to see in reality most, it takes that form, and uses it to break you down from within, preparing you for some unknown means. 

 

Beneath my bed, I saw a deep void of water, trapped in a room that was not my own. The room was merely four walls and a ceiling, the box of concrete trapping me… with it, the incarnation of my deepest fears. 

 

Going against every nerve in my body, I moved myself to the edge of the bed, allowing me to peer down until finally, I saw it… fear.

 

With a jaw of a thousand teeth, spiked, sharp and drenched in bloodied water, I saw the monster rising from the depths. As it rose, the dim light of my bed lamp made visible its long tentacles, crawling up the sides of the walls, encapsulating me.

 

I screamed but to no avail, I was under its control, this was its domain, and I was but a prisoner… we are all prisoners of our subconscious. It controlled us then. And it controls us now.

 

The next morning I awoke again, same as any, not remembering anything. I crawled out of bed just like every morning before, slipped into my dressing gown and made a start for the door…

 

But as breathed in the morning air, I felt a certain wet humidity drifting out of the room, dispersing into the sky outside. Even this detail, as minute as it was, was more than enough to trigger the memory of all the nights passed, and all the horrors of the future to come. My subconscious had broken free into my conscious. And with it, the bridge between worlds.

 

Ever since, I have had to remember every single night, with new formations appearing all the time. I’ve had monsters rip me apart, limb from limb, cell by cell, guzzling parts of my flesh down whilst I sit there, my mouth ajar, not able to scream. All to wake up the next day, fully intact, with only the memory keeping me connected to the horrors.

 

As I grew older, I began begging my eyes to stay awake for as long as possible, as each hour I stayed asleep, the same time in reality would feel as long as three days. Time distorts in the subconscious… the monsters like it that way, it prolongs the suffering.

 

I tried telling people, asking them for help or any kind of relief from this eternal horror. Everyone thinks I’m insane, that these monsters are really just a part of the subconscious and that’s where they remain. But they don’t… they follow you every second of your existence, haunting you eternally, preying on your weaknesses and exploiting them when they are at their worst.

 

I want to show everyone that they exist, that we need to find a way to break the connection between our worlds… I need peace. I need freedom again.

 

I’ve counted some of the worst forms I’ve seen of the monster… I want to share them with you.

 

When I was ten, I was utterly petrified of spiders. Over the span of three years, I had a giant arachnid approach me in my sleep, submerging its great hairy fangs into my flesh, paralysing me, to then wrap me in a thick web, leaving me to rot for hours upon hours. Sleep wasn’t sleep.

 

It was torture. 

 

When I was fifteen, I developed a social fear, making me terrified of public interactions after I fell over in school, and everyone laughed. Since then, I’ve had a new type of monster plague me as I sleep… It comes in groups. Large packs of human-like entities surround me and every hour they inch closer, with every step deforming them even more until… they reach me.

 

Not being able to move, I am forced to lay down and stare as they sink their hands into my intestines and pull me apart, gorging on my flesh, turning me into one of them.

 

I’ve had over thirty different forms over my life and… I’m only 21.

 

You may not realise it but… we’re all cursed.

 

You just don’t know the horrors your subconscious experiences whilst you’re awake.

 

Ignorance is more than bliss.

 

It’s salvation.

​

Heh heh heh…boils and ghouls, step closer, my fiendish friends,
To where darkness brews and your nightmare begins!
In a pot that bubbles Boiled for 36 hours,

Pork bones slowly dissolve and fade,
Crafting a potion from which nightmares are made.
Once Hibachi flames danced in this cursed land,
Now Dean and Ujin stir with their family’s hand.
Noodles once soared in space's cold tomb,
Now served here, where shadows loom.
Since ‘21, the broth of doom awaits—dare you sip and slurp before it’s too late?